


It Gets Down To My Soul

by annieapple24



Series: To Get To Feel Alive [2]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: A little angst, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Foursome - M/M/M/M, I promise, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Plenty of Fluff, Polyamory, So much smut, everything is okay though, panic attack during sex, poly!Queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 18:20:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19045846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annieapple24/pseuds/annieapple24
Summary: Sequel to "To Get To Feel Alive", would highly recommend reading that first.It's been a week since Roger told John that he wanted to try knotting. But he's starting to have some conflicted feelings about it all. Luckily, he has three amazing men to support him.





	It Gets Down To My Soul

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NightOfTheLand](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightOfTheLand/gifts).



> Dedicated to NightOfTheLand who really really wanted a sequel (demanded more like lol). LeggoxMyxGreggo of course deserves some credit since a lot of these ideas came out of our fun little convos.
> 
> And for those of you keeping up, this monstrosity is the reason "I'll Always Live For Tomorrow" hasn't updated in almost two weeks. Sorry about that! I hope this is good enough for now!
> 
> Trigger warnings in the end notes, but it's fairly tame. My usual, you know?

Roger sighed at the feeling of a soft cloth in John’s hands gently wiping down his back, over his thighs, between his cheeks where he was starting to feel sore. To Roger, it was one of the best feelings in the world. He could feel the love pouring off of John as he carefully cleaned him. He felt cared for, like nothing could ever hurt him again because John was there.

It was cold for a bit when John left to throw the cloth in the laundry. Roger managed to move his hips a little, trying to find a more comfortable position but being exhausted after an excellent fucking.

John settled back into bed, immediately pulling Roger as close as he could without jostling him. Roger happily nuzzled his face into John’s arm. There was a hand smoothing down his back again, this time just to trace nonsense patterns into his skin. A kind of intimacy Roger had only ever shared with his boys.

But Roger felt off too. He had for the past week, after the night Roger had told John he was finally ready to try knotting. It wasn’t that Roger had changed his mind since then. But what if he was wrong? What if he wasn’t really ready?

“I wish it could be just the two of us,” Roger murmured, angling his face away from John’s arm again to breathe and so John would hear him speak.

John’s eyebrow lifted in confusion. “Is there someone else in here I don’t know about?” he said, pretending to search around the room for an intruder.

Roger smiled for a second, one hand reaching out to John, sliding over his stomach just to have something to touch. “I mean when you… when you knot me. I just feel like there would be less pressure if it was just you and me.”

Of course, that was pretty much impossible. Only omega pheromones could trigger a knot in an alpha. It wasn’t really something they could do without Brian or Freddie being present, and it wouldn’t be fair to only have one of them there and leave the other out. Roger had thought about trying to trick John’s senses, like a towel used to clean up Brian’s slick placed up by the pillows and not changing the sheets. But that just seemed incredibly unsanitary and it probably wouldn’t work. 

“Do you feel like we are pressuring you?” John asked, concerned now. He sat up a little so that he could look at Roger directly, which had the unintended effect of making Roger shrink back a little in guilt and shame.

“No. That’s not what I meant,” Roger said. “I just mean… If it could be just the two of us and it turned out I couldn’t… couldn’t do it… I would only be disappointing one person instead of three.”

John’s mouth was open in shock. Roger felt another wave of guilt as he buried his face in the pillow, trying to avoid John’s reaction. Not that John let him hide long. 

“Roger, you could never ever disappoint me with something like this. I am so honored that you even want to try this with me. That you would even consider it,” John said, his hands cupping Roger’s face after having turned Roger onto his side. Their faces were so close to each other now. “I don’t need to knot you to be happy. Don’t get me wrong, I would fucking love it. But everything we’ve done so far has been amazing. You are so fucking sexy. I am far from disappointed.”

Roger smiled, kissing John lightly. “Thank you.” 

After a bit more kissing, John helped Roger turn onto his other side, spooning up behind him comfortably. Only then did Roger let himself frown again. It was nice that John had tried to comfort him, but Roger was not convinced it could be true. 

…

There was something Roger loved about spending time alone with Brian. It’s not that he didn’t love alone time with the others, or that alone time with them was any less special. But for a long time it had been just Roger and Brian. They had found Freddie, and then John, but there was a special connection between them that the others would never know.

Roger could feel it in moments like these, curled comfortably around each other in Brian’s bed. The sheets were dark blue and from his position on the bed, Roger could see a constellation map hanging on the wall above. It was one of the reasons Roger loved Brian’s room so much. It always felt like a different world.

“I’m so happy,” Roger whispered, seeing the smile spread across Brian’s face. “You make me so happy, Bri.”

Brian’s lips were on Roger’s for a moment, so soft and yet so fierce. “Good. You better be,” Brian whispered back. 

Taking a moment to snuffle into Brian’s neck, right over his scent gland, Roger repositioned himself so that he was lying half on top of Brian. They were both only in their underwear, ready for sleep, but also ready if one of them decided they wanted a little more first. 

“Are you happy?” And though he hadn’t meant it to be too serious, just a continuation of the conversation and a reassurance that his friend and lover was happy, suddenly Roger needed to know. He had never forgotten his conversations with Brian. When he found out about Brian’s depression and how deep he could get inside his own head or when he found out how insecure Brian was about being an omega. But now, surely, all of that would be different. Brian not only had an alpha, but also a beta and another omega at his beck and call. A family to love him, to help him through his worst episodes.

Brian, seeming to sense the seriousness of Roger’s question, paused to consider his answer carefully. “I am. Sometimes I think this is the happiest I’ve ever been in my whole life.”

“Sometimes?”

Brian shrugged. “I still worry sometimes. I don’t think I’ll ever really believe that I’m good enough for you guys. Just the way that my brain works.”

Roger nodded, understanding a bit of what that must have been like. 

“Well, personally, I think you’re too good for us. I have no idea what we did to deserve such a good omega to take care of and to take care of us.” Roger knew his comment worked a bit when Brian’s eyes flashed darker and his cheeks reddened. “We love you so fucking much. We wouldn’t want anyone but you.”

Fingers fluttered down Roger’s back as Brian took a deep breath. “You really think that, Rog?”

“Of course I do,”” Roger said without hesitation. Then he had an idea. “Want me to prove it to you?”

“I like that idea,” Brian said, his body obviously already reacting. Roger could already smell the slick that was probably dripping a bit onto the sheets with the way Brian’s legs were positioned. Brian was starting to get hard as well, and Roger happily rubbed himself gently against Brian.

It was easy enough to reach Brian’s neck again to bite down, just hard enough to make Brian squirm. “So you want me to show you what a good omega you are? Do you want me to fuck you and make you feel good? Make you come on my cock and let you suck me off and swallow my come like the perfect omega you are?”

Brian was already whining before Roger finished speaking. “God, yes. Yes, please. Rog.”

Roger wiggled his way between Brian’s thighs, spreading him open and fighting the urge to drool at the sight. He was right about the slick. There was already enough for Roger to easily run his fingers through it and gather enough to start pushing a finger into Brian. 

It wouldn’t take much prep, Roger knew, not with Brian this turned on already and without having to worry about a knot. But he still took his time working Brian up to three fingers, opening him up and savouring every sound that tumbled from Brian’s lips all for him. 

“Please, Roger. I’m ready. I want to be good for you.”

“You will be, love.”

Not wasting anymore time, Roger slicked himself up and pushed against Brian’s entrance. Brian opened up easily to him with a long moan and Roger felt his cock throb at the sight and feeling of sliding deep into Brian. When he was fully seated, he readjusted Brian’s legs, one wrapped securely around his hips and the other thrown over his arm to help the angle. 

It was a warm, familiar feeling. Neither of them were in the mood to tease, so Roger began fucking into Brian, spurred on by Brian’s cries and his legs tightening around Roger. Then Brian’s arms were around Roger’s neck, pulling him down for a sloppy kiss and using the leverage to push back against Roger’s thrusts and making them both groan in pleasure. 

Roger didn’t bother with anything fancy. All they wanted right now was to feel each other, so Roger didn’t hold back. His hand wrapped around Brian’s cock loosely, jerking in time with his thrusts and letting precome and leftover slick make his strokes smooth. Brian shuddered, his eyes closing at the feeling. 

“Fuck, Rog. Feels so good.”

Leaning back so that he could see Brian’s face contort in pleasure, Roger sped up. When he thought Brian could handle it, he leaned back, angling himself to better his chance of finding that magic spot inside Brian. He smiled when Brian choked on something between a gasp and a moan, proud of himself for finding it so fast.

“C’mon, Bri. Wanna see you come. That’s a good omega. Come for me, love. So amazing. So perfect for me.”

He could feel Brian shaking, his hips moving as he chased his orgasm. Roger twisted his wrist, his next stroke on Brian’s dick rubbing just right and Brian cried out sharply as he came all over Roger’s hand and his own chest. Roger could feel Brian’s walls clamping down around him and fought back the urge to come. He slowed his movements, fucking Brian through the aftershocks until he calmed down enough for Roger to pull out. 

“So beautiful. So good.” Roger leaned forward to kiss Brian again, letting Brian recover a bit before they changed positions. 

Before Roger could even suggest it, Brian was already pushing at his hip, flipping them over until Brian hovered over Roger, kissing down his chest and stomach down to where Roger was still rock hard and dripping with Brian’s slick. 

With any other partner, Roger would’ve offered to wipe himself down first, especially since the blow job had been his idea. But Brian, wonderfully dirty, naughty, amazing Brian was already swallowing him down so fast it made Roger’s head spin. 

“Fuck, Bri. Oh my fucking god. I’m going to fucking come.”

Roger had already been close from fucking Brian, but there was no resisting Brian’s mouth. Brian was undoubtedly the best of them all at giving blow jobs, and Roger was at the mercy of Brian’s perfect lips and tongue, sucking his own slick off of Roger’s cock.

When Roger gripped the sheets, thrusting up into Brian’s mouth and shouting out his orgasm, Brian moaned and swallowed his load easily. It took a minute for Roger to come down, his toes still curled from the intensity, feeling Brian licking his hips, balls and thighs. It wasn’t the first time Brian had cleaned Roger up like this, his slick having the tendency to make a bit of a mess, especially without a knot to lock it all inside of him. That didn’t keep Roger from damn near coming again at the sight.

And when Brian came back up for another kiss, the salty sweet taste of his own slick on his tongue, Roger wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close.

“So fucking perfect, Bri. Jesus.”

For a moment, Brian’s smile was so bright Roger wondered if Brian believed him this time.

…

It happened much more organically than Roger had expected. All it took was a mere whisper of the suggestion against John’s lips as they all fell into bed together one night for the idea to become reality. 

They spent a long time warming him up, taking turns fingering him open wide, doing all but fisting him (and wasn’t that a thought for a future time) to get him ready. They kissed Roger softly over his entire body, whispering how beautiful he was and how good John was going to make him feel. 

Roger was shaking. It was almost time. John was already between his legs, slicking himself up with lube one more time, just to be sure he wouldn’t hurt Roger. Brian was staying close to John, letting his omega scent wash over him, and fingering himself in the meantime, apparently too turned on not to touch himself. Freddie, also contributing his pheromones to the cause, stayed close to Roger, holding Roger’s hand tightly and pressing soft kisses to his neck and shoulders as Roger shook beneath them. 

There was something heavy in Roger’s chest, something beneath the heat and tension which had led him to this point in the first place. He chalked it up to nerves and forced himself to ignore it.

And then John was pushing into him, and Roger was crying out. John felt amazing, hot and hard and pressing in all the right places. 

“Fuck, Rog. You’re so fucking tight.”

It was something John said a lot, never having fucked a beta before Roger before. But this time even Roger thought that John felt bigger inside him than usual. Maybe it had something to do with the omegas being near or maybe it was just all in Roger’s head. 

Roger resisted the urge to bury his face in Freddie’s shoulder as John started moving faster. He wasn’t sure why this was so overwhelming all of a sudden. He compromised and used his free hand to drag John down into a kiss before burying his face into John’s neck pretending to scent him. 

Next to him, Freddie was stroking himself in time with John’s thrusts, hips working minutely. Brian now had three fingers inside himself and was pressing biting kisses to Roger’s leg that was raised in the air. 

Though he was still overwhelmed, Roger pushed himself to relax and enjoy what was happening to him. He panted against John’s skin, pushed his own hips forward to meet John’s, doing everything he normally did while they all got closer and closer to coming.

“Rog… Fuck, Rog, it’s coming. Are you ready?” John gasped out.

John’s fingers were digging into his skin and his breathing became erratic, his thrusts becoming shallower. But when Roger felt the tug, could feel John’s knot slowly start to swell and working its way into him, something inside Roger snapped.

Without thinking, Roger pushed John as hard as he could, flinging himself to the side. He felt John fall backwards into Brian, felt John’s cock rip painfully out of him, felt Freddie’s hand wrap around his arm as he tried and failed to catch Roger from falling off the bed. Roger tumbled to the floor, narrowly missing smashing his head on the nightstand, and crumpled into a heap.

There were voices around him but Roger couldn’t tell what they were saying. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. Somewhere in his mind he knew he was hyperventilating and needed to calm down, but all he could focus on was the panic and the need to run away.

His mind cleared a little when the others joined him, but the panic was still too strong to do much. He flinched as he felt one of them touch him, but forced himself to stay calm and not throw up when whoever it was helped pull him upright and gently pushed him to lean back against the wall. It took a bit of uncomfortable scooting that had tears pouring down Roger’s cheeks, but he was relieved when they backed away and gave him space when he was settled.

He had to think. He had helped John through panic attacks before. What was he supposed to do? It took a minute, but Roger managed to press his hands and feet flat against the ground, trying to breathe through his nose and out of his mouth. After awhile, he could hear a voice, John’s he realized, telling him the same thing, coaching him through a slow rhythm to breathe. 

The others must have gotten up because Freddie was wrapping a soft towel over his shoulders and Brian was crouching near him with a water bottle at the ready.

“Roggie? You coming back to us? You’re safe. We’re here.”

Just when Roger thought he was calming down, his breathing less ragged and his chest less heavy, he was sobbing. He was thankful for the towel to wrap himself tighter in, needing the comfort, but not ready to touch any of the others yet. And then, again without meaning to, the words were spilling out of his mouth at the same rate as his tears.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t do it. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

John’s voice was gentle and warm, like a blanket. “You’re okay, Roger. You did nothing wrong. We are here for you. Nothing is going to happen to you. You’re safe. Nothing to be sorry about. We are here and we love you.”

It took a bit longer for Roger to calm down properly. He was embarrassed for crying, embarrassed for fucking everything up. But he forced himself to listen to John’s words, forced himself to breathe deeply and try to think logically. They weren’t mad. They weren’t disgusted with him. Even if they were disappointed, they weren’t going to leave him.

Eventually, Roger was able to reach out to John, grabbing his hand and pulling weakly until John sat next to him. Brian and Freddie stayed close, and Roger let them each put a hand on his leg, even if there was still a bit of nausea rolling around in his stomach. He knew if it were the other way around he would be dying to touch them, reassurance that they were okay.

“Roggie?”

Roger pressed his face into John’s arm hard, finding the energy to speak. “I’m okay. I just… it was too much.”

John nodded. “I understand. I’m sorry. We are here for you, Rog, alright? Let us know when you’re ready, we can throw some clothes on and get into bed. Or a bath if you would rather relax a bit first.”

“But you guys…”

“Doesn’t matter,” John assured him, echoed in the gentle squeezes to his leg from Brian and Freddie. “We don’t need that, we just need to make sure you are okay. You’re more important to us than an orgasm.”

The last bit was obviously said to lighten the mood, so Roger smiled as much as he could, though his best was still quite weak.

“Don’t wanna sleep yet,” Roger said, pressing himself closer to John as he felt his muscles starting to relax. “Movie, maybe?”

“Sounds perfect, sweetheart. Think you can drink some water for me first?”

Slowly but surely, Roger was able to move, easier to focus on John’s simple commands and reassured by the constant soft touches. They all put some clothes on, cleaning up a bit with warm washcloths first. Freddie and Brian took care of changing the sheets and grabbing the TV stuff for a movie. John got Roger settled in, waiting patiently until Roger was ready for more contact and Roger pressed himself into his side. He caught Freddie by the wrist on climbing his way onto the bed with more water and some snacks, silently urging Freddie to curl up into him from behind. From John’s other side, Brian wrapped his arm securely over Roger’s waist.

Though they had put on one of Roger’s favorite movies, Roger didn’t bother paying attention to it. He let his eyes drift closed, focused on the feeling of being surrounded by the people he loved.

…

Roger didn’t keep his toys hidden under his bed anymore. And now he had more than just the one. Some were gifts from the others. Freddie had bought them matching sets of the newest model of Roger’s inflatable knot toy, and from there Roger’s collection began to grow. Some were from memorable trips to the store with his boys, exploring the vibrators and prostate massagers until they found the perfect ones. 

The toys were kept proudly in a nice box between Roger’s bed and night stand. He used them a lot, particularly with Freddie who seemed to have a bit of a kink for using various toys on Roger until he cried. Of course, Roger wasn’t the only one with toys. He bought Freddie a double-ended dildo for them to play with once in return for some of the wonderful gifts Freddie had bought him.

“I want to try again, Fred,” Roger whispered.

Freddie was on his back, soaked in sweat and slick, having come multiple times, first with Roger’s tongue in his ass, then on Roger’s fingers and once more on their favorite knotting toy as Roger fucked it into him as hard and fast as he could.

Luckily, Freddie knew exactly what Roger meant. “Are you sure?” He probably would’ve had more of an argument, would have told Roger he didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to do or that he wasn’t ready for, but Freddie was too fucked out to say what was clearly written on his face. 

“Very sure,” Roger told him. 

It had been over a week since Roger’s little freak out in bed with the others. The panic attack had come and gone, but Roger’s embarrassment was still there. Despite all three of his friends reassuring him multiple times that they didn’t mind, they weren’t mad or disappointed, Roger couldn’t help but feel like he had let them down. Until that morning, when Roger realized he had it all wrong. 

He had spent so much time worrying about being able to take John’s knot, worrying about silly things like getting stuck and having to go to the emergency room, even John not enjoying himself and never wanting to knot Roger again, Roger had gotten so worked up and overwhelmed that he had forgotten the most important thing. This was about him. He wanted to be knotted. And more importantly, he wanted to be knotted by John, because he loved him and Roger knew that John would take care of him no matter what.

Roger petted over Freddie’s stomach, watching as Freddie caught his breath. “One more time. I need to feel it. And then I want you to leave it in me until John and Brian get home.”

Freddie’s eyebrows quirked up in surprise. “That won’t be for at least half an hour.”

“I know.”

They kissed for a bit while Freddie recovered. Roger also took the time to wipe the toy down as Freddie wiggled and stretched, testing to see how sore his muscles would be the next day. Not that Roger would have minded being fucked with a toy covered with Freddie’s slick, but Brian taught them very early on to take care of their toys and Roger had taken it to heart. No point in risking hurting the toy or themselves by not keeping it clean. 

Sooner than Roger expected, Freddie got his wind back and pushed him over onto his back. Roger hadn’t been expecting it. The air whooshed from his lungs as he landed flat on the mattress and his dick twitched at the display of dominance from the omega.

And then Freddie was all over him, biting his neck, licking his nipples, sucking only the tip of Roger’s cock until Roger squirmed. And when Roger begged for it, Freddie finally reached over to the nightstand to grab the lube. 

“Did you finger yourself earlier?” Freddie asked in surprise after slipping a finger in and feeling how loose Roger already was. 

Roger nodded. “Managed four fingers before I got impatient. So hurry up and fuck me.”

Freddie chuckled at Roger’s usual impatience, but surprisingly did as Roger asked. Though Freddie was the least likely of the three to tease Roger mercilessly, he still liked to do it a bit. But Roger wasn’t about to complain as Freddie quickly switched from one to three fingers, hooking them upwards and immediately prodding against Roger’s prostate to quell the slight burn of the stretch. 

Roger groaned happily, reaching above his head to grasp at the bars in the headboard. It gave him enough leverage to fuck himself down on Freddie’s fingers and get him just a bit deeper.

“More.”

With a bit of effort, Freddie was able to push in his pinkie and curl his hand. His thumb was toying with the bit of skin above his hole where he knew Roger was sensitive. It was only then that Roger realized how close he was to coming.

He grunted, trying to signal Freddie and asked for more at the same time. “Ah, uh, Fred…”

Freddie quickly responded by wrapping his lips around Roger and sucking hard. Roger cried out, bucking his hips trying to get deeper into Freddie’s mouth, gasping as Freddie swallowed around him. Freddie didn’t even blink when Roger’s come shot down his throat.

“Are you ready, darling?” Freddie asked, running his hands soothingly over Roger’s thighs. Roger couldn’t recover as quickly as Freddie or Brian could as omegas, but he didn’t mind a bit of oversensitivity and was usually too impatient to wait long when he knew there was more to come. So, Roger nodded his head emphatically, ignoring Freddie’s chuckle.

The toy eased into him slowly. Freddie took his time, making sure not to hurt Roger, working it in until the base was pressed neatly up against his hole. It filled Roger deep, enough that sometimes Roger swore he could feel it in his stomach. Or maybe it was just because of how hard Roger clenched down around the toy, always wanting more.

Lips trailed up and down Roger’s thighs as Freddie started to move the toy. “Gorgeous, Rog. I could watch you like this for hours.”

Roger responded by grabbing a fistful of Freddie’s hair and dragging him all the way up for a rough kiss. He felt so desperate, overstimulated but wanting more at the same time. Roger panted into Freddie’s mouth, letting out a long, high-pitched moan when Freddie smirked and began fucking the toy in and out of him faster and harder.

It wasn’t quite like the real thing. Freddie could lean over him, move his hips over his hand in time to make it seem like he was the one fucking Roger and not the toy, but it wasn’t really the same. In some ways it was better. Freddie could angle the toy easier to catch on his prostate or find the best position to slam it into him repeatedly as fast as he could. But all Roger could think about was how much he wanted it to be John.

“Close,” Roger cried into Freddie’s mouth, gripping onto Freddie’s shoulders for dear life.

Freddie smiled and bit Roger’s lip. “Already? Alright then, love, here it comes.”

And then Freddie’s other had was moving down, pressing the button to inflate the knot, carefully working it inside Roger without tugging too much. Roger stopped breathing for a moment, pushing down the way that Freddie had taught him so long ago to help with the pain. 

But the knot was pressing oh so nicely against Roger’s prostate. All Freddie had to do was rock the toy back and forth, rubbing against Roger until Roger was quaking and fighting back a scream, the orgasm practically being pulled out of him. “Fuck!”

Freddie kept moving until he saw tears in Roger’s eyes and finally let go of the toy. He moved up to kiss Roger sweetly, wiping away the tears and rubbing at Roger’s stomach.

“Are you sure you want me to keep it in? I can take it out,” Freddie whispered.

Roger shook his head. “Leave it in. I’m good. Wanna feel it.”

Seeming to accept this answer, Freddie helped Roger shift to a more comfortable position with minimal jostling, rolling Roger onto his side and letting Roger’s leg drape over his hip. It was probably the most comfortable Roger was going to get.

“Sing to me, Fred?”

For the next twenty minutes, Roger let himself float, never quite falling asleep but so relaxed he may as well have been. Freddie stopped singing after a while, but never stopped combing his fingers through Roger’s hair, occasionally pausing to press a kiss to Roger’s forehead.

Distantly, Roger heard the front door open. Voices called out, letting Roger and Freddie know they were home. Footsteps echoed through the flat, the sounds of Brian and John settling in after their errand run. 

Roger was happy that Freddie had faced him towards the door, because he couldn’t imagine missing the look on John and Brian’s faces as they peeped through the door, smiled at the sight of their post-coital lovers twisted together, and then realized what was nestled between Roger’s legs.

Before Roger could figure out how to mumble out a greeting, Freddie spoke up. “Isn’t he lovely? He’s had it in about twenty minutes. I think it might be ready to come out now.”

Neither John nor Brian had yet to take their eyes off of Roger.

“You do it?” Roger asked, his voice soft and gravelly, thoroughly exhausted. 

After a moment, John nodded and stepped forward. He took a moment to run his hands over Roger’s salty, sweat-dried skin before moving his fingers to the toy and it’s remote button. Gently, as if the slightest move might break Roger, John deflated the toy and pulled it out. He handed it to Brian who began wiping it down again, leaving it on one of their towels to be washed. 

“We love you, Roger,” John murmured, pushing a few flyaway hairs away from Roger’s face.

“Love you too,” Roger whispered back, happier than he could remember being in a long time.

…

Everything felt much calmer than it had last time. Roger was nervous, but the excitement was so much stronger and he could feel the excitement and love almost radiating from the others. 

Roger was lying on top of Brian between his legs, his face planted safely in Brian’s neck while Brian’s long fingers stroked all over his body. Freddie had pressed himself firmly against their sides so that he could pepper kisses everywhere he could reach on Roger’s sweaty skin. One of Freddie’s hands was still shoved between Roger and Brian’s bodies having just helped get Roger off for the first time that night. John, of course, was opening Roger up slowly and carefully. First his tongue, then his fingers, and now he had almost his entire hand inside Roger. And Roger was in heaven. 

If he could, Roger would tell John how amazing it all felt. Would tell the others not to worry, he was ready for this. That there wasn’t a single shred of doubt in his mind this time. They were there for him, and they would keep him safe. 

But his tongue felt thick and his mind was hazy from his orgasm. And it didn’t matter because Brian chose that moment to angle Roger’s neck back far enough to capture his lips in an excited kiss. Roger couldn’t help but smile into Brian’s lips, feeling the answering grin.

Then, just as slowly, John was pulling his fingers out of Roger and wiping them on a nearby towel. Freddie was cooing in his ear, telling him how good he was, how fantastic they were going to make him feel. 

“You ready, Rog?” It was spoken as a whisper into the small of Roger’s back, but Roger heard it clearly.

“Not yet,” Roger forced past his dry throat. He felt Brian stiffen beneath him slightly, but focused on carefully shifting. Freddie and John quickly realized what he was doing and helped him flip onto his back. 

John smiled and kissed Roger’s hip. “Are you sure? It will be more comfortable on your stomach once we’re…” 

Roger grabbed Brian’s arms and wrapped them around himself. Brian immediately settled in again, putting his chin on Roger’s shoulder so that he would have a nice view. Freddie also adapted to the new position, now a bit lower so that his nose was even with Roger’s belly button. 

“I want to see your face. That hasn’t changed.” Roger put his hand on John’s cheek, trying to make sure John knew exactly how happy Roger was to be there with them. 

“Okay.”

John grabbed the lube again and spread more than he probably really needed over his cock. And then he pushed inside Roger, going slow and smiling when Roger started to tremble and gasp in pleasure. 

Freddie’s lips were on Roger’s stomach, tickling and making Roger’s trembling worse. “Doing so well for us, Rog. Just like that. You’re so beautiful.”

The words sent a heat low into Roger’s belly. John was all the way inside him, giving him a moment to adjust. Brian was mouthing along Roger’s neck, his cock hard against Roger’s back, his arms tight and grounding. Everything was perfect.

“John,” Roger gasped. “Please. I’m ready. I’m so fucking ready. Waited too long.”

WIth a firm grip on Roger’s hips, John set a steady pace, thrusting into Roger until Roger let out a low whine. With the grip Brian had around him, Roger couldn’t do much more than just take it, wriggling slightly and making Brian moan as he grinded against him. 

“Want more, sweetheart?” John asked, stroking along Roger’s thighs and spreading his legs a bit wider when Roger nodded in response. 

Roger cried out as the thrusts came harder and faster. He squeezed his eyes shut and reached up to throw his arms around Brian’s neck, twisting his fingers into Brian’s curly hair. Freddie moved down, taking Roger’s cock into his mouth. It was beautifully overwhelming, especially as John pushed his legs even further back, almost squishing Freddie, angling perfectly to hit Roger’s prostate. 

“Fuck, John! Yes, there, please!” Roger turned, tugging on Brian’s hair until he could reach Brian’s lips. He was too breathless to kiss properly, but the feeling of Brian’s tongue flicking over his was enough. 

It only took a few more thrusts and a familiar flick of Freddie’s tongue to bring Roger over the edge again. The shout got strangled in his throat and he tugged a little too sharply on Brian’s hair, but Roger couldn’t bring himself to care as Freddie swallowed around him.

John slowed down long enough for Roger to come down a bit, still shuddering and gasping and begging for more even as he couldn’t remember how to form real words. But soon he was fucking into Roger again. Brian had to tighten his grip as Roger began to thrash against the overstimulation. Roger never wanted it to end.

“Rog?” John’s voice was strained. Even through the haze, Roger could tell John was close. “Rog, I’m gonna… are you still okay?”

Gathering every bit of focus he could, Roger looked into John’s eyes. “Yes, please. I want it. Knot me, John. Let me feel you.”

Letting out a sharp groan, John’s knot started to swell. He pushed into Roger as deep as he could and rocked gently as he came. 

There was no panic this time, only pleasure. John repositioned his legs so that he could kiss Roger deeply as they were locked together. Roger was so full, John’s knot was nestled right up against his prostate, the overstimulation bringing Roger near tears. It was something Roger had experienced many times playing with his toys. But it had never felt like this. Roger had never felt so full, so amazing. 

When John started to catch his breath, he pulled away slightly, every movement echoed in slight tugs of John’s knot inside him. “Let’s get comfortable, love.” 

John carefully turned them over so that Roger was lying on top of him, cradled in John’s arms. Just that bit of movement was too much, and Roger couldn’t help shifting his hips back and forth until he came again almost painfully. Roger sobbed as he spurted weakly across John’s chest. John was not unaffected, crying out as he shot again inside of Roger. 

Roger collapsed against John, exhausted. His orgasm had taken off just enough of the edge to relax a little, simply enjoying the feeling of John still inside him, wrapped around him. It was everything Roger hoped it would be.

“God, that was so fucking hot,” he heard Freddie say somewhere to his side. 

Roger moved his head so he could see that Freddie had crawled into Brian’s lap and they were furiously rocking against each other, licking and biting at each others lips as they scrambled to come. John must have turned to look too, Roger felt him pulse inside him once more. 

Brian grabbed both their cocks and tugged frantically, stuttered moans falling from his lips as he got closer and closer to the edge. Freddie’s fingernails scraped over his sides and Brian came, his eyes screwing shut and his mouth opening wide. Freddie followed him soon after with a shout, biting into Brian’s neck as they rode out their orgasms.

They stayed like that, wrapped around each other, for a long time. Each time John came, the three of them reached out to touch him softly, soothing him. Roger lost track of time, happily accepting more kisses from Brian and Freddie whenever they leaned over to him and John.

Finally, John’s knot started to go down, until with a slight movement from Roger John’s softening cock slid out along with a good bit of John’s come. It was messy and fantastic and Roger sighed happily as he moved to snuggle himself between John and Freddie on his side.

“I love you,” Roger murmured, feeling Brian’s hand reach over Freddie to rest on Roger’s hip. “All of you.”

“We love you too, Rog,” Freddie whispered, pressing a kiss to the back of Roger’s neck.

John shifted closer, ignoring the sweat and come they were covered in, even though they all knew they would regret not cleaning up. “What did you think? Everything you fantasized about,” John joked, voice soft.

Roger smiled, eyes closing. “Better than anything I ever imagined.”

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: Roger has a panic attack while having sex with the boys, mostly because of John's knot. It's about halfway through the third section.
> 
> I hope everyone likes this! Come chat with me on Tumblr at unicornsapplesandstuff.tumblr.com !


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